Isbn: 978-0-446-56474-8
Releasedate: August 5, 2009 (re-release)
Genre: Biography - Reallife / HC format
For sale at : The Book Depository Store

Synopsis
So much has how been said and written about the life and career of Michael Jackson that it has become almost impossible to disentangle the man from the myth. This book is the fruit of over 30 years of research and hundreds of exclusive interviews with a remarkable level of access to the very closest circles of the Jackson family - including Michael himself. Cutting through tabloid rumours, J. Randy Taraborrelli traces the real story behind Michael Jackson, from his drilling as a child star through the blooming of his talent to his ever-changing personal appearance and bizarre publicity stunts.

This major biography includes the behind-the-scenes story to many of the landmarks in Jackson's life: his legal and commercial battles, his marriages to Lisa Marie Presley and Debbie Rowe, his passions and addictions, his children. Objective and revealing, it carries the hallmarks of all of Taraborrelli's best-sellers: impeccable research, brilliant storytelling and definitive documentation.

REVIEW
This book tells about an incredibly life, the journey and path in life that the King of Pop and humanitarian Michael Jackson took in the nearly 51 years he lived. The road to stardom and the consequences of being as famous as him, the extortion and the seclusion, the lonelyness and eccentricities.

Michaels lifestory is so incredibly emotional, impressing, amazing, shocking and nearly unbelievable in so many ways! This book tells the complete story from his early living years in Gary, Indiana to his passing in Bell Air, California. This will probably be one of the last updated versions on this novel and is supposedly written by someone who met up with Michael many times throughout all his life and claims to have an inside scoop on things.

The beginning of the story tells about the abuse, physical as well as emotional, Michael and his siblings endured from his father. The total opposite lifestyles of his father and his religious mother, which gave a distorted example of how to live a good life and were total opposites in every sense of the word. It shows how his parents, the record companies and representations, as well as being in the spotlight isolated him from normal life ever since he was a young boy. He has been alone and lonely for most of his life, misunderstood and never appreciated for his opinion when he needed it the most. It shows that he always was a shy introverted boy, but instead of helping him find a way to being more extravert and open they shielded him from the outside world making it impossible for him to take a stand in a social life.

To tell this part of Michael’s life takes up to about 400 pages in this book, is extensive and really takes you on the road towards stardom and into Michaels thoughts and life. This was the part that touched so many of my emotions and really got me connected to Michaels life from the inside point of view. However I found it a bit annoying that throughout the pages this author placed remarks towards the future from his own point of view. This irritated me on a certain level because when I read a biography I want to read about someone’s life story not about the opinion of the author, I can make up my own mind thank you very much! It irritated me and it was then that I started to see typo’s and grammar mistakes in sentences, wrongful use of words and sentences that were incomplete. For a book published this many times I expected it to be near to flawless, especially in the first half. Boy was I in for a surprise later in the story as that worsened!

The first part makes clear to me what I had known all along. Michael held out his heart; pouring with love for everyone to see; take from or enjoy; without any boundaries, borders or walls protecting it on his part, only hoping some of the love he gave would be given in return unconditionally. Everyone sensitive enough to it would see it in everything he did. From his love towards his mother, to the love for his fans, for the underprivileged people of this world, to the animals he had living at home.

No matter how his heart was bruised, kicked at, torn up, or smashed to pieces. No matter how much time it took him to come back, he stayed in search for that one small bit of light to grasp and pull himself back towards it.

When he was brought down in that deep dark cold space all I could feel was the need, the want, the desire to keep his heart safe from harm and warm it with my own love and heal the pain he has lived with so many years and make it better for him. Reading this book only strengthened that feeling and makes me more sad that he never had someone to blanket him as he needed to be.

One particular scene stayed with me and still pops into my mind every now and then, that was where young Michael (if I remember correctly about 14 years at that time) warned a fan who was invited up to the apartment his brothers rented for some “action” to not go, even wrote her a note with his autograph asking her not to go as he told her: They wouldn’t treat you right. She decided to ignore it and went anyway. She went and Michael was brought home, got out of the car, recognised her and said: I can’t believe you went. She was all up in tears and regretted that she had done so. She got into a cab and left… To me it showed everything Michael was, even back then they didn’t listen to what he had to say. He was not trusted in what he said.

No matter how controversy and eccentric a picture of Michael, J. Randy Taraborrelli painted I dreaded reading the last pages of this book. Of course it really was real, Michael had died June 25, 2009, but to read it as a final thought in this book was just surreal to me. It was the ending of a person’s life who never was able to live life.

I said it before in this review that in my opinion as an author of a biography you should remain objectivity, remain to facts and keep an open mind. In the writings of the past 15 years J. Randy Taraborrelli was not able to do that. It felt what he wrote down was not inside information but more stories gotten from outside sources. The spelling, grammar and wrongful use of names is stunning, and rather implies the quickness it’s written and released again and again without taking the time to read and edit it and re-read it with every new publication.

I’ll name a few of these to stipulate that I’m not just saying or making it up:

• Neverland has been said to have both 27,000 & 2,700 acres of ground.
• The videographer interviewing the Arvizo family was name as both Christian Robinson and Christian Anderson.
• The DCFS was also named DSCS.
• There are countless grammar mistakes in the built up of sentences that make you have to re-read sentences to understand what is being said.
• And there are typo’s that make your brow raise as well.

What makes this book quite difficult to read as well that it’s written up in chapters, it reads very confusing at certain points, especially in the later years because in one chapter you find yourself reading information from i.e. 1994-1997 when the next chapter will take you back to i.e. 1992-1993.

There was a remark in the book that made me want to lash out to J. Randy Taraborrelli. Although it has to be somewhat applauded that in the ‘Chandler-case’ he remained saying wasn’t sure what had transpired-personally. However, in my opinion looking at the facts he brought forth in this book, it was clear that Michael was innocent. I knew that then and after reading this book I’m even more sure of it now. But I’m coming back to the fact that his opinion does not fit in a book portrayed as a biography! In the ‘Arvico-case’, in his own words he knew it was a set up.

What made me want to lash out however was that after the acquittal of Michael June 13, 2005, a woman came up to J. Randy Taraborelli saying to him “After all of THIS, what if he really IS innocent?”

He wrote in response to that and I quote: “As I looked at the startled expression on her face, I felt a chill shoot down my spine and I thought to myself… ‘Oh, my God! What is he really IS?’

It made me want to scream and say “You dimwit, do you finally get it now??!!! It, for Christ sake took you long enough!’

For someone who they claim knows or is an ‘expert’ on Michaels life it seems to me that he might only know what Michael wanted him to know, but never understood the essence of Michaels being. I think Michael never forgot the fact that J. Randy Taraborrelli is indeed a journalist and in his world they could not be trusted. Throughout his whole life people backstabbed him and he remained cautious towards certain people, unfortunately not so cautious towards the one that hurt him the most.

The question remains though, would I recommend this book for reading, is it what I expected from reading a biography and did it really give me the satisfaction of getting the inside information on this person’s life?

I have to admit that it’s difficult to extract myself from the way it is written and the person who it is written about. Michael, throughout the years has affected and touched more in my life that I realized.

The first 400 or so pages give a clear, insightful view and a lot of information on Michaels life so in order to establish if this is biography worthy I have to say yes, surpassing grammar mistakes and writing errors. It touches every fibre of my being, emotion, stirs me on every level and leaving me amazed in all that he had experienced in his life (good and obviously bad!). Throughout the years after that, it becomes more clear to me that this story isn’t written from Michaels perspective anymore but from the authors viewpoint. Throughout it all I missed real interaction with Michael (though the second half a lot more that the first half). So it left me feeling bereft and misguided by the title.

The last 4 years the author has only been in touch with Michael on the phone twice and only for a few minutes and the years before it seems that contact has been minimum too! So to name this book:


is not accurate! The last deals only with the rumours everybody knows, the news everybody knows but I have not come across a snippet of information about the allegedly private lifestyle Michael had according to this author that wasn’t already know to me through other means. It came across as though the author was trying to say “I know Michael and I want the whole world to know as well.”

All in all the positive feelings I have about this book is that it kept me focussed on Michael, his life and him as a person. It made me understand even more about his past and giving a total different view on Michael and the Record Companies and Paparazzi and their influence on Michaels subtraction to open up and live a very secluded life.

What is a nice addition to reading Michaels story is that certain televised performances can be looked back on sites like ie. youtube. It shows even more how exquisite Michael as a performer was. Despite all the things going on in his personal life, he was able to tune that out completely and still give his best performance ever. A good example of that it: Billie Jean Motown 25-the first time he performed the ‘Moonwalk’ eventhough it originally is called the backslide but media picked it up as the moonwalk. Behind the scenes there is so much turmoil and drama going on, but he got up on stage, did his thing and not one moment can you see on his face the hurt he feels inside.

As a biography, how it’s written – structure as well as writing-language left quite a bit to be desired and I think the book is as successful as it is because of the subject and timing of every (re) release. For me as a reader it left me with the desire to read more inside information and still left me with unanswered questions that should have been answered at least partially by someone who claims to have been on the inside!

And most of all what I really missed was the last years of Michaels life. Information about his return, his rehearsals and of course the weeks from his passing away to the memorial service in Staples, the world newly awoken to his music and life. This biography is NOT the whole story, it is NOT a completed biography and the fact that almost 60 (!!!) pages are used for acknowledgements are a rip off in my opinion. I’m left very dissatisfied about the last almost 368 pages.

The last 4 pages are a reflection of J. Randy Taraborrelli walking through an empty Neverland that rose my hair and gave me goose bumps, realizing that this author just wanted some publicity to pour drama to his last reflection. I was not fooled by it, my eyes opened up and left me thinking ‘You bollocks! If you only see this now that he has passed, you never really knew Michael at all!’ But then again it really shows how the press used Michael to their own raise to fame – this journalist in the end seems no exception to me.

Would I recommend this read? It depends on the reason why you want to read this book. If you’re a lifelong fan following him from as early as the 70’s, looking for new information, I think most of the written pages hold information you already know. However the early years give some background information on Michaels life that might be of interest to you. If you became interested in Michael after his passing, wanting to know more on his life, it is a good way to start your search, but if you are longing to read more information about Michael (in-depth and private) on his let’s say last 20 years I’d say don’t bother buying it, all the information can be looked back on the internet and it does not give you anything real constructive.

Would I read other ‘biographies’ written by this author? As simple as NO, and simply because in the end he was not objective concerning Michael which lead me to realize that a biography might best not be written by one person or at least not by this author alone. It should not be opinionated and should consist of information given by the topic and not for 90% people from outside. I missed so much viewpoints from Michael, how he looked on life, how he stood in it all and where he came from.

All in all in the end I would like to close my review that my critique and review on this book is based on how it’s written, structured, set up, it is as a viewpoint on the writing skills of this author and NOT on the person it is written about!

3 Stars

Genre: Paranormal
Book 1 in the Shadow Guards series
ISBN: 978-0-451-22537-5
Releasedate: October 2008
Publisher: Signet
Format owned: HC Rhapsody & MPB
For sale at: The Book Depository Store

Synopsis
A cunning immortal who's been called upon to reclaim a marked soul...

Ever since an accident took away her memory, Miss Elena Whitney can't recall the secrets of her own past. All she knows is that with her mysterious benefactor Archer, Lord Black, returning to London at the behest of Queen Victoria, she should seize the chance to get some answers.

A member of the immortal Shadow Guard, Archer has been summoned to London to eliminate the soul of an evil demon - Jack the Ripper. Archer feels not only bound to protect the women of the night, but also his beautiful young ward, Elena, whom he spared from death two years before. But with a wave of panic spreading across London, Archer fears that Elena is his weakness - a distraction he can't afford, especially since she's likely to become the Ripper's next target...

REVIEW
Elena finds herself in the claws of a killer and her savior appears on the rooftop to help her out. In her getting saved from said kiler she falls of the rooftop making her memory blank out. After she spend her time recovering she tries to built up a life for herself, she knows there is a guardian Lord Black but he’s not in London.

With a killer on the loose in the streets of London she has to be careful on the Eastside of town but she eagerly wants to start a study which is on that side of town. One day she comes home and finally gets the chance to meet her guardian, things aren’t what they seem, but the attraction between them is evident and not avoidable-no matter how hard they try.

I had to get into the writing in the beginning as when some speak as it’s written is exactly like the lower class speech. I had to get used to that a lot, but once I got settle into that I was hooked onto the story!

The twist between the shadow guards, the Transcended in combination with the Jack the Ripper history gives this story something rather unique and thrilling to read. Especially as it’s set in a Victorian Historical timeperiod which – by the way – was captured marvelously in my opinion. Throughout most of the book the attraction between the hero and heroine lingers and gives a more “Regency” like vibe to it all, but it’s out there and that satisfied my need for a bit of romance in each story I read.

Elena is a woman who has no memory of who she was from before her previous encounter with a ‘dark encounter’ and is trying very hard to remember her past, her loved one’s - all the while trying to make herself the purposefull life she craves. She is smart, sweet, loveable and passionate as well as very brave.

Lord Archer Black is this thousands year old Shadow Guard who has seen it all. He has this intensity around him making you want to peal back the layers around him to get to the centre of his being. He is one of the guards who has to deal with Jack the Ripper on the lose, whom is giving them a hard time in catching him. Archer has to deal with the duality of the excitement of something new on his plate to deal with and the need on a personal level to keep Elena from harms way. Elena - who by the way - stirs feelings inside him he thought had been long gone.

There are a few other characters coming to scene who play a keypart in this novel and Mr. Leeson is one of them. I find him amusing as well as entertaining. The twins Marcus and Selena and dr. Charles Harcourt stick to mind mostly. Some with just the blishfully normal life and others with some – how do I call it – interesting quirks which gives this book a great twist.

This story takes place in 1888 which brings this setting into a world of beyond the average historical regency and historicals I have read so far and to me that stirred up my need to read on. You can taste the way of living changing a bit more to what we are used to these days. The struggle of women wanting to make it on their own and the dangers that come along without the protection of a strong protocol and guardian by their side.

There is a particular scene between Queen Victoria and Archer that made me instantly aware of how far the paranormal abilities of the Shadow Guards can reach, and how they have to have the ability to constantly keep reaching between the moraly right and wrongs for the “humans”. It struck my emotions and left me amazed by Kim Lenox’ writing skills – in that one small scene between them she was able to hit my emotions full force!

The romance/love connection between Elena and Archer builts up gradually making it a lingering sub-plotline. I really liked the fact that Elena has the struggle of wanting to take some action on it, but the shyness as well to not do so promptly when she experiences the fluttering feeling of attraction. It stipulates the fact that in this timeperiod the world was already changing a bit to the likings of nowadays. Because the love between them is taking it’s time to built up, it was all the more important to read about the attraction they felt for both their point of view. The story changes from both sides on and off so it didn’t leave things to be desired in the romantic department for me whilst reading this novel.

As the story builts up in the first half, Kim Lenox takes her time in letting the reader know the characters and giving bits and pieces of the Shadow Guards world and how Archer fits in that. In the middle Jack the Ripper starts stirring up giving more and comes to scene more often. The ending is climactic and though it rounds up things concerning the love between Archer and Elena it leaves plotlines open in which the next book will continue. The duality of their love building up and the murders getting more brutal and viscious makes this novel the addicting blend you just cannot put down. It’s making you crave to get your hands on the next novel so it made me straight away go to the buy-button and ordered So still the night.

Kim Lenox is a firm believer of Happily Ever Afters and that shows in this story. In the love-connection between Archer and Elena she focusses on the feelings and emotions of it and eventhough there are ofcourse sensual scene’s they are really that! Because the focus is on the emotions it comes across as sensual instead of sexual and I loved that because it made this book a real Paranormal Romance!

4,5 Stars

Shayla Black – Tempt Me With Darkness
Genre: Paranormal
Book 1 in the Doomsday Brethren
ISBN: 1-4165-5858-6
Releasedate: August 6, 2008
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Format owned: MPB
For sale at: The Book Depository Store


Synopsis
He’s an immortal knight hungering for satisfaction. . . .
As soon as Marrok sees Olivia Gray, he’s sure they met in eons past. He’s felt her soft, gentle curves writhing in pleasure beneath his own powerful body. . . Morganna! For centuries, towering Marrok, once the mightiest of King Arthur’s warriors, has endured a terrible curse the witch cast upon him when he spurned the witch.


She’s a modern woman about to discover ancient magic. . . .
Olivia shares a mystical—and irresistible—connection with brooding Marrok. Soon after the sexy warrior appears in her erotic dreams, he abducts her, demanding she uncurse him. Their intense passion is more powerful—and intimate—than either of them has ever known. Olivia may be the key to unlocking the diary that will break Morganna’s hold on his life. But in the wrong hands, the book also holds the power to destroy magickind. As they search for answers, a ruthless wizard returned from exile is building an army of evil. When he discovers Marrok and Olivia have the diary, only their love—with the help of a powerful group of magical Brethren—can save them.

REVIEW
Marrok, an ancient warrior from the reign of King Arthur, trapped by a spell cast upon him by the witch Morganna La Fey to immortal life, has been around for a very long time. Once he had the dream that he would have a way out of this immortal life he quickly finds himself in a situation not foreseen taken care of a girl he claims is Morganna herself.

Unbeknownst to Olivia, Marrok thinks she is the key to unlock a book known to be able to uncurse him. However there is also the catch that this book is powerful enough to destroy mankind in the wrong hands. To make matters worse a dark and rogue wizard returns from exile and is making a steadfast group of followers to help him get what he wants.

An century-old pact of hatred between wizards and witches has to be laid to rest, to help safe the world, henseforth the Doomsday Brethren are introduced!

It starts up with a very demanding and erotic dream that introduces Marrok and connects the dots to why he, as an ancient warrior, is still allive in the 21st century, why he so much seeks revenge on Morganna and why he wants to undo the curse she bestowed upon him. As expected from Shayla Black this first book in the Doomsday Brethren has it’s scorching hot scenes, starting with this one!

Tempt me with Darkness, is a classic and solid introduction to a new series by this author. It holds a thorough basic explanation on worldbuilding and characters. It shows very much the potential that this series can be brought to further heights with the follow-up books. Though the theme of a brotherhood (Brethren) protecting the world from evil is one that we come across a lot in books as of late, Shayla Black is able to give it a different surrounding environment, using old legends in new settings, where good stands against evil once more. Ofcourse with the incredibly hot scenes between the hero and heroine!

Marrok is the warrior type loved amongst many. Alpha Male, demanding, seeking revenge, creative (who doesn’t love a man who can create with his hands!), brooding, reluctant to follow rules, but sensitive and tender once you found a way to his heart.

Olivia however, is a woman on the brink of finding the magic she unbeknownst to herself holds within. A girl who is trustworthy, follows feeling over rational interpretation, passionate but very sweet and strongminded as well.

Their interaction is strong and sharp, verbally, and has to overcome issues as trust and betrayal. What really got me connected to them as a couple was the fact that the everyday emotions of doubt and trust (being able to lay your heart in another’s hands), were difficult for them to surpass. Especially as the world around them, gives them obstacles to solve whilst working out their feelings for eachother. It took this romance from the fairy-tale like of it all and threw it back into reality. Some ‘Romance’ readers might not perceive it well but it does fit within this world an the way Shayla Black set this world up so for me it fits right in.

The story unfolding in Tempt me with Darkness grabbed me from page one. I was intrigued immediately by the fascination of the erotic-tinted dream Marrok had and made me want to read on to find out how it would unfold and which part Bram was playing in it all. What did he know and would his premonition come to be! I was completely surprised with the mate-bonding ritual. It wasn’t strong and urged but it came natural and unexpected to both Marrok & Olivia. It holds a nice little quirk that will leave the expectations of Shayla Black’s readers of other books satisfied.

The secondary characters are as fascinating as the hero & heroine and gives you a certain longing to keep reading on in this series. Ofcourse there is one character within this build up of series that is like an encyclopedia into this world and in this series Bram is that person. Mysterious and with that appealing to me! But these are the good guys. Amongst all this, a brooding chilling evil is raising and it’s one of the few evils that I can say leave my heart cold and frosty and instantly disliking him to every fiber of my heart. I loved it. It’s great to see that contrast and I have to say that every storyline in this book was well balanced and creates a great thrill for the fan of erotic paranormal romance!

Certain plotlines however might come across as a bit of shocking and it made me raise an eyebrow for a bit as well but strangely enough it fitted the picture of good vs the evil portrayed in this book and shows that this author is not afraid to use it to balance it out.

All in all Shayla Black was able to grab hold of me with this sereis and made me a fan of her writing-style even more. I’m so glad I’m able to dive straight into the next installment Seduce me in Shadow to see what will happen next!

4 Stars

Genre: Suspense
Book 2 in the Robert Langdon series
ISBN: 0-552-14951-9
Releasedate: March 18, 2003
Publisher: Transwolrd Publishers Ltd.
Format owned: PB-UK / HC Limited Illustrated edition
For sale at: The Book Depository Store

Synopsis

Harvard professor Robert Langdon receives an urgent late-night phone call while on business in Paris: the elderly curator of the Louvre has been brutally murdered inside the museum. Alongside the body, police have found a series of baffling codes.

As Langdon and a gifted French cryptologist, Sophie Neveu, begin to sort through the bizarre riddles, they are stunned to find a trail that leads to the works of Leonardo Da Vinci - and suggests the answer to a mystery that stretches deep into the vaults of history.

Unless Langdon and Neveu can decipher the labyrinthine code and quickly assemble the pieces of the puzzle, a stunning historical truth will be lost forever....

REVIEW

Normally I am not a big fan of novels within the thriller genre, but Dan Brown has got a lifelong fan, with his Robert Langdon series, in me. And to keep things in perspective - since I bought this book 3 years ago, I've read it about 16 times or so - yes I've been told it's not an addiction anymore but a mental issue....

I'm only writing the review now because I've started writing reviews 2 months ago (Sept '06). I remember buying the book, settling in at home, making a cup of tea with some biccies, and the whole time I went : I knew it, I was right all along ~ about the Mary Magdalene part ~. Eventhough the Robert Langdon story is Dan's own creation; he did use facts that no-one can deny! No wonder the Vatican went balistic over this book.

Dan Brown knows how to putt a thrilling story to paper. Every chapter leaves you wondering what comes next and just when you think you have it figured out - the whole thing is mixed up again and new things come to light.

I think this second novel is not as sublime as the first one in this series 'Angels and Demons' it comes very close though. And to be able to do this for a second time in a row as an author I think is amazing. His writing is so formidable that you get sucked into the thrill and are eager to keep reading.

I love Robert Langdon's character and putt him right next to Buffy's - Rupert Giles. Looks as well as personage. The interaction between Sophie and Robert adds to the story and it all just fits like a glove. Amazing. I'm amazed, that's all I can say.

What I think is marvellous as well is (as I've never been to Vatican City / Rome before) the added map of this part of Italy. It was great to be able to see the map that they followed and what came out of it, brilliant.

4,5 stars

In our darkest hour, in my deepest despair
Will you still care, will you be there
In my trials and my tribulations
Through our doubts and frustrations
In my violence, in my turbulence
Through my fear and my confessions
In my anguish and my pains
Through my joy and my sorrow
In the promise of another tomorrow
I’ll never let you part
For you’re always in my heart
                                ~ MJ Jackson ~


I received a text-message from my brother that said: “Michael Jackson has died.”.
That one line made me stop whatever I was doing and I remember staring at my mobile phone for what seemed like forever, but later turned out to be just one small minute or so. That one line made my heart skip a beat, my stomach turn in a twist and my emotions upheaved in all directions.
When my conscious mind became aware and the impact hit full force I texted back: “I had no idea. When?”
I was about to drive off for a family visit 260 km’s away from where I lived but just had to switch on the TV and watch the morning news to see if something was said about it.

There was some footage, some first reactions and a reporter blurted something out – mostly wild guessing at the time. Cause of death wasn’t for sure yet, first news was it was a cardiac arrest. But there it was, not that my brother isn’t a trustworthy news-giver because he is, but up to then it was so surreal, yet, the newsreporter said it a few times, the legendary King of Pop has died on June 25th, 2009 at 14:34 LA-time.

As always with news concerning Michael Jackson, rumours about his passing started up straight away to lead their own life, was it suïcide, did it have to do with all his allegedly surgeries, was it foul play, natural death or drug-abuse? With the news on a quarterly loop I watched it again – and it still didn’t hit home really.




Like many others, I grew up with Michael Jackson, I mean, he was just about in his twenties when I was born so I’ve been hearing about him all my life. Grew up liking his music very much and always looked forward to a new release to see what spectacular video he made with it. Just stipulating here that he is not in my thoughts every day of my life. A few months ago, I however had a dream, totally out of the blue, about Michael Jackson dying. Different circumstances but the result the same. Back then it got me all emotional and that dream stayed with me, it left me with a gnawing feeling ever since, but also with feeling some sort of connection.

I never believed the rumors about the childabuse and people who know me know this because I spoke it out loud every time they reared it’s ugly head. I followed the trial on TV and prayed as often as I could for justice to prevail. If he was indeed guilty let him be found guilty, if he was innocent let him be found not guilty on all charges. When the latter became reality I remember sitting in my bedroom crying happy tears because justice prevailed, but also grieving tears for the man who came out of it broken and torn up even more inside!

I saw and still see Michael as a loving man. Strong because of his views on familly, his charitable work as a humanitan was outstanding, his musical achievements unrivalled and someone who has been fighting for his believes for so long. Eventhough he came across so many people who tried to bring him down, he always stayed the kind, caring and tremendously generous person he was.


I think he was a highly intelligent man. Whenever he heard something if either from history, or facts or something that interested him, he listened when someone tells, takes up the information and is able to use that and relay the information when needed. Without anybody realizing it nowadays he really was steps ahead of his time, always innovating and wanting to come up with something new and always came up with something new. I know he came across as distant and a loner, part of it is because it is in his character but it’s been put upon him as well by record company/manager and such persons.

I know how the music industry works, you still see it going on with popstars these days, they have to come across as available, no wives or relationships or families, just to keep the record sales up. They think the illusion needs to be created, but what they did to Michael, taking it all away from him – in their thoughts they justified it as to protect him… And they knew how to play Michael, they knew what to say and how to say it to make him do so, but at the same time they disconnected him from life in such a horrible way. I can only hope they stop and realize some day that it was part their doing that Michael wasn’t able to live life to the fullest and feel the guild they should feel!

People made millions and millions of dollars of Michael but when he needed their support 99% of those turned their backs and walked away. All for that stupid money and stupid meaningless reputation which never was in danger to begin with. Yes, now it’s in danger, because it’s reflecting negative on them now. But it took him passing away for that to start, a little too late in my opinion.

Everybody who saw the interview with Martin Bashir knew straight away that things were set out to reflect him in a bad way. There have been another tv-program where things were set right by Michael’s own video-taping of the interview. I remember that I saw the first interview with Martin Bashir on TV and I felt a sadness because it was not in line with how I felt Michael was, I’m so glad it was counterspoken and that Michael was able to counterspeak! But it really shows how Michael was constantly surrounded by people who were trying to bring him down. It must have been so tremendously difficult to find light and a positive look on life and the will to keep living and holding onto his own believes – whilst being in the midst of all that negative energy.

Ever since the trial in 2005 there was an emptiness inside of him, a part of him had died in that process. There are moments in interviews from the past years – where he answered questions about his life, where you can see true love and light in his eyes, when he smiled a twinkle lighted up, but most of the time he griefed for the nowadays disconnected society. He had so much love to share and everytime he showed kindness someone took advantage of it and made him suffor till he had no more strenght and God decided that it was time for his son to return home.

Jet Interview - part 1
Jet Interview - part 2
 
Videoclip They don't care about us
 
There are people out there who say “Life goes on, he made great music, but I personally feel no grief.” I respect that. Everybody has their own emotional connections in life. If you don’t feel anything, don’t say it. I honor honesty.

There are people who claim to be friends and grief deeply about his passing but didn’t stand up and speak out loud when Michael went through the difficult peroid of false accusations: because let’s face it, they didn’t want to be connected just in case it gave a black spec or dark reflection on their own carreer à I dispise them! They are trying to get attention now through his passing, all I can say in all it’s crudeness: Up yours!

There are people making sick jokes about his passing: Making fun off it and laughing about it – all I can say to them is “How would you feel if someone else did that about the passing of one of your loved one’s?” Remember what you give it will be returned times three. Karma always balances itselve out! A lot of consideration and respect for other people and their feelings will get you far in life. I will never understand why people do crude things like that and it makes me really sad to see that happening.

Michael was working hard on his comeback – which I know in all confidence – he would have made in such a way that left everybody baffled. He would have been able to hold his head high and show the world the man he is.

In my opinion I think we will never hear the truth about what happened in the room where things occured and at this point it doesn’t matter anymore. I have my thoughts about it but don’t want to go into rumoring about him, I will not lower myself to that point. I’m sure he had good and bad points, it’s what makes us human, we all have our stepping stones to take. I only hope that if it wasn’t natural cause that justice will prevail once more for Michael! He is in his resting place, his soul can heal and he can look back on his life with pride and honor. He stayed true to himself and helped wherever he could with the means he had at hand. He enlightened the lives of so many people.

I however find it difficult to see how long it takes for him to be buried in his final resting place. Even after his death he still cannot find the peace he deserves so much. There’s this whole commotion about his atopsy and such and it feels like his body is dragged all over the place. In my opinion he should be buried at Neverland and to keep that as his final resting place it’ll make a great place for mourning people to go to whenever they feel the need to connect. I know rules and regulations prevent that from happening, but for Michael to be buried on a “public-common” burial ground feels so wrong. Not only because he deserves to have a resting place where his energy is felt by everybody but also because it’s so open to vandalization on such a burial ground. It is just bound to go wrong eventually. I’m already having nightmares about his body being dug up and his thomb/headstone or whatever he will get, being vandalized. People these days just don’t have respect for a final resting place anymore. If Michael would be buried on Neverland he will finally get the peace he craves.


My heart cries out for him and feels like screaming to leave him alone. No more poking around no more pushing and shoving, it’s enough - ENOUGH! That news about his will and what he left to whom is being played out in the media is plain discusting. Ok we get it, he didn’t have financial insight but who cares? He died, there’s a pain in my heart for it, and the need to focus on wanting to remember the person he was (and according to my believe still is) is of so much more value. Let’s all focus on that.

Near to everybody holds some kind of memory to Michael Jackson, through his songs or him as a person and I never expected his passing to touch me this deeply. People are dancing in the streets in his honor, millions if not billions people mourn him, he touched the hearts of more people than anyone else could and if it was up to me he would be up for declaration of sainthood for all the good he did for the world where human society got more distant and careless. He never forgot, so let us not forget and keep up what he set out to do! Embrace the world with love and kindness, help those in need and open your heart for all the pain in the world so we can ‘Heal the world!’

I remember my first Michael Jackson tape, which I got for Sinterklaas (sort of Dutch Santa Claus) it was Thriller, to this day I still have the tape, not able to play it anymore because his ‘Auws’ and “Oehs’ are slightly – read extremely - stretched out and the tape is literally listened to pieces. I was 10 or 11 years old and so very happy that I received it. I really love music – all sorts – but well you know, Michael is Michael. I also at that time received a poster of him (thousands of images on the net and couldn’t find it back!), it was the one from that time in that red royal like outfit with hands folded in front, it has been in my room for years. Later on when my musical direction was more focussed on a boyband that poster slowly disappeared from my bedroom but out of all the posters that have been in my room (and trust me… there were a lot of them!) that one has always stayed in my memory.

The moment that Moonwalker hit the movie theatres me my brother and sister went to see it with my dad – it must be like 8 or 9 times in the theatres. I have it on dvd now (bought it years ago) and every now and then I still watch it. So amazing. That movie touches my emotions on a lot of different levels. Because of the fond memories, but also because in that movie Michael smiles a lot and enjoys himself, it really shows! I always love it when Michael smiles, on film on photo or in sound – when he really laughs his whole face lights up, he gets dimples and always catches my giggles as well.

There is a movie on youtube that shows Michael not being able to stop laughing during an interview, it’s one of my favorites. There is this watch or phone going off during the filming and everytime the journalist wants to ask a question which needs to be translated (it’s an Asian journalist) that darn thing goes off. There are photo’s as well that show Michael smiling – he has such a broad smile that hits his eyes when he is thorougly enjoying something, but there’s a different with smiling politely and really smiling and with Michael you can tell the difference! There are also photo’s where Michael seems so deep in his thoughts and into his own world that it makes me long to be able to read his mind to tell what he’s thinking. It brings out the caring part in me because you can see the sadness in him, the sufforing.

Whenever I see/saw Michael perform live – he does so with so much energy and dynamics that it invigorates me as well, making me want to get up, shake my hips and my heart just overflows with joy. I think that is what makes Michael special to me. He touches parts of my soul, he brings out a better person in me and makes me think about and reflect on my life. How I can be a better person. I recognize bits of my own personality in him. I sometimes catch myself being in my own world, I recognise the need to fight for injustice as well, but I cannot do things on such a large scale. I recognize that the negative energy being send of to me from people outside my family all throughout my life ever since I was 9 years old and how it closed myself and toughened a part of me. It is only now that I realize and recognize what it is that makes me drawn towards Michael Jackson on a personal level instead of only through his music.

I feel like I can write for hours. Every time I finish a sentence another one pops up in my mind. My emotions are like a rollercoaster and to describe them all would be too much and I think some thoughts should be kept private because they are so very personal to me.


At about 8.55CET I went on my way to my familly and every now and then in the car, my eyes teared up and wave of grief touched me. I let my feelings be, felt them as they came and send out my sincerest condolences to the people who truly cared about him and to whom this news came as a shock I can imagine.

Later that day I heared that online stores ran out of Michael’s cd’s and dvd’s. I can forsee like the rest of the world that – like with Elvis Presley – years from now: Michael’s music will still be played – remixed – and re-released a lot. He was and will always be the man who changed music forever.

June 25th, 2009 will go down in history as the ‘black day’ for music – the day when the Legendary King of Pop passed away.

Michael, rest in peace, I hope you finally found the loving place where they care about you for who you are, what you believe and where I know you can give out and receive the unconditional love that you longingly looked for down here but never truly found to cherish in your personal life. Don’t forget to collect your wings, so you’ll be able to fly amongst the angels!