Ok now last Saturday I went to update my files and got the fright of my life - my reviewer-life that is. By God, I knew I had read two books, I know I reviewed the two books as well but.... I couldn't find them back anywhere!

An absolute reviewer shock... I checked everywhere. I knew I had emailed all files I had at work to my home address so I searched through my emails to check and see if I had it there... no it wasn't there... I checked my pc-review files, and all other docs I had everywhere, in between the docs of my ebooks, websites, blogs, own written books, even in my world of warcraft addons DANG it was nowhere to be found...

My mind had another brilliant idea, let's check the forum. I had written them so they must be there... nothing nada zipp niente!!


I thought the world was pulling out all conspiracy against this one small little reviewer from that darn province in that It's a small world after all - Netherlands. A spec on the worldglobe, barely visible but strong in views and values, lets face it in the scale of it all we can scream all you want but still it's a whispering voice amidst concertfans during a popconcert.

Anyway back to the topic at hand...

They were just nowhere to be found. I slightly panicked because the books I read and reviewed were King of Sword and Sky and Angels and Demons, both five star reviews and both amongst my favorite books. Now Angels and Demons was not the problem, I could whip a review up right here and now as that book is just tattooed in my mind, due the umpteenth time I read it, but King of Sword and Sky, there is something about reading CL Wilson's books for the first time, it's that initial impact of lingering longing and fulfillment that can only be caught in that first time read (making it a 6 star rating instead of the max. 5 stars I'm giving out) that I wanted it remembered by. But as it was too long ago for me to fully grasp that back emotionally, writing a new review wouldn't do my feelings justice.
I thought my mind was blanking out on my again, maybe confusing the thought of wanting to write the review to actually write it... But for some reason I couldn't let the notion go that I wrote those reviews. By this time it was already 00:30 at night and so...so!!! tired, but I couldn't sleep either, so I pulled out every piece of paper I could find, every note-pad I used for writing reviews - note to self: Just use one till it's full and then start another - I found 9 pads back which I used for reviewing...


Sigh what we reviewers have to go through I tell ya! It ain't no picnic!!!!

__________________________________________________________________________________
Crave the Night by Natascha (formerly known as: Ashleagh )

This is a story based upon the Dark Hunter series written by Sherrilyn Kenyon with Acheron Parthenopaeus as main hero. The other Dark Hunters as well as affiliated characters might show up as the story writes out.
Because this story is a Fanfiction which came from my own imagination whilst reading on in this series, note that it is in no way affiliated to Sherrilyn Kenyon. Please be warned again, that this might show spoilers to the actual series but it can also follow a different path to the storylines.

This FanFic as it's written is copyright protected to Natascha apart from the pieces taken from the series as well as the characters and series idea, those are registered adn copyright protected by Sherrilyn Kenyon!!!

HAPPY READINGS,
Natascha
__________________________________________________________________________________
CHAPTER TWO

The pain Ash felt while dreaming was excruciating, he never noticed Amanda coming in and taking Ashleagh out of his arms to change him and take him downstairs.When Ash couldn't take the emotions of this whole trip down memory-lane anymore in his dreams he cried out for D'Alerian, one of his best friends and also an Oneroi or better known as Dream-Hunter. As a son of Morpheus the Greek God of dreams, D'Alerian is a healer and helper to the Dark-Hunters. A straight forward man who never met a rule in his world he didn't like. With his eyes and focus are constantly on the Dark-Hunters he's quick at hand when one of them is in need of his aid.

D'Alerian felt the pain in Acherons cry out for him and rushed over to his dreams only to find his friend in a dark corner laying down on the ground in "feitus" position. He laid his hand gently on Ash's head to calm the storm he felt going on inside. He went through Ash's recent memories to see what his emotions got ticked off. Acheron consciously walked with him and got the vivid tingles again when the Oneroi stopped at the very memory of those heavenly blue eyes that met his earlier on today. Acheron saw that D'Alerian wanted to remove that brief moment in time to ease Acheron's pain but Ash wouldn't have it and stopped him in doing so.
"Acheron, you know I have to, to...."
"I know, but I'm not ready to forget."
D'Alerian pulled his hand back and took his friend in for a while with arched brows that told Acheron D'Alerian wanted an explanation which he couldn't give. His whole being told him that that warm embrace of the energy of this girl touching his for a short moment in time, was something he wanted to savor, to remember. The first time since.... ever, he guessed that someone could warm him with just a single second in time. That maybe the Fates hadn't given up on him yet.
"You know that, in THAT case, there's not a lot I can do for you..." D'Alerian said, somewhat confused. Acheron didn't seem to be himself. He still felt the confusion going on inside his friend but it didn't feel like the turmoil he felt before.
Acheron got back from his thoughts and said "I know, but at least I know where it came from. I think I can control it now."
D'Alerian reacted "Very well I'll leave you to it, peace be with you."
"And you dear friend..."Ash said.

D'Alerian watched over him as Acheron slept a little while longer. He really didn't know what to think of this all. It had been thousands of years since Acheron had nightmares like this and he didn't know what to do now that Ash didn't want what ticked it off errased. The irony of it all was that D'Alerian understood. His people are cursed by the Greek God Zeus to be able to feel emotions only through human dreams. He had felt Acherons emotions when his gaze had met those of the girl in question, what got him concerned was, Acheron wasn't human, so how could he have felt them? D'Alerian knew he needed advice and hoped his father Morpheus would be able to enlighten him. He knew better than to alter the destiny of Acheron for the 3 Fates will come onto him to punish him for doing so, but who's to say he's not meant to know how it could have been he felt Acherons feelings? Still in doubt what to do D'Alerian left Acherons dream state after making sure tranquility stayed with Ash for the time being.

Refreshed and rested Ash woke up only to realize Ashleagh wasn't in his arms but safely asleep in his bed. When he got up out of the chair he frowned as the pink blanket with bunny-rabbits hopping around in yellow and green on it, fell to his feet 'what on earth..?'
He folded the blanket, placed it on the chair and silently wanted to flash downstairs. Quickly he remembered that earlier on it didn't quite go well with that power so decided to leave the old fashion way.. out the door and down the stairs.
When he stood in the doorway to the livingroom he saw Simi hanging upside down on the chair feet dangling over the back and head hanging nearly on the ground, Amanda lay curled up on the sofa in Kyrians arms while they were watching the news. A longing boiled up inside him, sometimes he wanted peace like that, but it was not for him, he had other things to think about. First of he needed to see Savitar to check on how things went with Nick. First off Nick should have been trained by Savitar but Savitar didn't feel the need to take time off from surfing to do so, so Savitar told Ravyn to do so and get back to him. He still wasn't sure what to do with Nick's soul. Because Nick never bargained to revenge his mothers death in exchange for his soul with Artemis, she couldn't rightfully keep his soul, so instead she had given it to Acheron to hold on to, and although there was no doubt in his mind that Nick would be a great Dark-Hunter Ash still wasn't sure if Nick was meant to be one. Wasn't it he, himself who altered Nick's future by letting his emotions run high and speak out in anger?

Kyrian looked up and said "Had a nice nap?"
The grandpa clock down the hall chimed 9 and made Ash weary, he'd been asleep for 4 hours "I have to go, Simi return to me..."
Simi opened one eye and jumped up happy "Akri is awake, Simi is hungry." Simi hopped to him playfully "Why Akri sad?" and tilted her head.
Amanda looked up and saw it too in his whole being. The phone rang so she picked it up only to hear her twin-sister Tabitha Magnus-Devereaux on the other line. No 'hi how are you sis' or 'what's up?'but the words that came out of Tabby's mouth sounded worried "What's wrong with Acheron?"
"Simi..."Ash asked a bit agitated and without another word Simi returned to Ash's body as a dragon-shaped tattoo wrapped around him as to comfort him. Before Kyrian could say a word Acheron flashed out of the house hoping to make it to Katoteras, where Savitar awaited his arrival being annoyed because he had to pass on many a good wave while waiting for Acheron to come back home again. He actually pondered on how to take each wave as he saw them going by. 'How hard was life on him' he thought, as he saw wave number 11 going by. Ias and Danger came walking in at the same instant Ash flashed in. Despite the fact Danger only lived there for a few months she knew something was different with Ash, she couldn't pinpoint it out but it was clearly there. He released Simi and she went about her own way and jumping to her room to go and watch QVC after she got her plastic-card-thingies from Ias. "I swear one day we need to teach her the value of money a bit...." Ias's slightly curled mouth and sparks in his eyes told, he knew that that would never happen.
As Ias had been with Ash for Aeons he knew when not to bother him so he and his wife retreated to their own private chambers.
"So who crawled up your butt..." Savitar said.
"Don't start with me, tell me about Nick." Now that was the Acheron Savitar knew, authority reaked from the man.
Lethal.
Straight to the point.
No bull.

Tabitha was rambling on about Ash and how signs were bad, stars alligning to make a portal for God knows whichever energy or change. Everybody was talking about it on the internet, some whispering about the great evil that came to bring forth Armageddon. A change so drastically that the world as they knew it would seize to exist. Amanda kept her calmth the whole time while Tabitha continued to ramble till she was finished "So Mandy, what do you think, you're awfully quiet, it's bad isn't it? Ash said something to you about it and told you not to tell me, I mean...."
"Tabby be still, I think you're overreacting, who is your source of information?"
"A guy called Lucifer on the net, but that's beside the point. Lanie laid her cards for me and confirmed a major energy-shift right!" she took a breath, drank some tea and went on "With that war still ongoing in the middle east and all those people being sacrificed it must be a build up to something really bad. I feel it!"
Amanda laughed "Yeah and Bush is the devil incarnate..."
"You think? Now that does make sense, after all he started this whole war in the middle east!" Tabitha pondered on that.
"Tabby, I was just kidding."
"Owh, but you know..."
"You know what I think?" Amanda said while focussing on her twinsister's aura "I think you should go and make Valerius a happy hubby."
"What's that suppose to mean?" Tabitha asked wearily. Why the change of subject, the world as they knew it was about to end and...
"You're pregnant sweety and your hormones are clearly making you overreact a bit, I'm not saying nothings going on, it might, but it might not be as bad as you think...."
"How can I be? I'm on the p.. and I've had my..."
Amanda smiled as in her mind she counted to three then feeling the news kick in and all she heard was "I'll call you later..." followed by the beeping sound of disconnection.

Kyrian asked what was going on seeing the amused look on his wives face and wondering what Tabitha had called for.
"Tabby warning us about the end of the world...." Amanda laughed at the stunned expression on his face "Don't worry baby, she's pregnant..."
"Ahhh...." Kyrian said, knowing how pregnant 'Devereaux-women' tended to overreact a lot whilst being pregnant. The things he had to go through.... But in the end it all was worth it. He felt sympathy for Valerius, his once enemy-to-the-core for over 2000 years but ever since he and Tabitha grew fond of eachother he had learned to tolerate him. Especially since he found out the truth about the past. A grudge held over 2000 years wasn't hard to let go off but he had to admit that Valerius was an okay-guy. He did empathize with him but not so much as to feel the need to warn him about the pregnancy hormones... yet anyway.

He silently laughed in himself as not to allert Amanda about it. She'd only deny and make him regret even thinking what he thought. Last time he made the mistake in telling her, he ended up sleeping on the sofa and with him being 6"4 and the sofa only 6" in length it wasn't very comfortable. He knew his way around those 'evil' thoughts now, so he kept himself to himself.

Genre: Paranormal / Young Adult
Book 1 in the Chronicles of Nick series
ISBN: 9780312599072
Releasedate: May 25, 2010
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
Format owned: ordered HC
For sale at: The Book Depository Store

SYNOPSIS
At fourteen, Nick Gautier thinks he knows everything about the world around him, until the night when his best friends try to kill him. Saved by a mysterious warrior who has more fighting skills than Chuck Norris, Nick is sucked into the realm of the Dark-Hunters: immortal vampire slayers who risk everything to save humanity.

Nick quickly learns that the human world is only a veil for a much larger and more dangerous one. A world where the captain of the football team is a werewolf and the girl he has a crush on goes out at night to stake the undead. But before he can even learn the rules of this new world, his fellow students are turning into flesh eating zombies. And he's next on the menu. Like starting high school isn't hard enough.

Now Nick has to hide his new friends from his mom, hide his chainsaw from the principal, and keep the zombies and the demon Simi from eating his brains, all without getting grounded or suspended! How in the world is he supposed to do that?

Genre: Erotica - Paranormal/Fantasy
Book 5 in the Lords of Satyr series
ISBN: 9780758241283
Releasedate: June 1, 2010
Publisher: Kensington Publishing
Format owned: TPB-signed
For sale at: The Book Depository Store

SYNOPSIS
When Dane Satyr approaches Eva for her services as a matchmaker, she offers him more than just introductions. Dane has discovered that Eva is a Satyr like himself, full of insatiable passion and dark desires.

Their attraction combusts instantaneously, unlocking pleasures that neither can resist repeating...even as Eva seeks out a mortal bride for Dane.

__________________________________________________________________________________
Crave the Night by Natascha (formerly known as: Ashleagh )

This is a story based upon the Dark Hunter series written by Sherrilyn Kenyon with Acheron Parthenopaeus as main hero. The other Dark Hunters as well as affiliated characters might show up as the story writes out.
Because this story is a Fanfiction which came from my own imagination whilst reading on in this series, note that it is in no way affiliated to Sherrilyn Kenyon. Please be warned again, that this might show spoilers to the actual series but it can also follow a different path to the storylines.

This FanFic as it's written is copyright protected to Natascha apart from the pieces taken from the series as well as the characters and series idea, those are registered adn copyright protected by Sherrilyn Kenyon!!!

HAPPY READINGS,
Natascha
__________________________________________________________________________________

CHAPTER ONE
He just knew that this day would merely be a day full of bad things, he felt it in every molecule that his body was made of, things had been not good for a while now but today something deep inside him stirred, an uneasy feeling. He damned the fates for not being able to see his own future clearly. Dark-Hunters from all over the planet had been phoning him, new Dark-Hunters that is, and eventhough he understood that they had a lot of questions whilst they found out what life as a mere servant of the Goddess Artemis was like, today of all days he was not in the mood for answering simple annoying questions. Where's Strykerious when you needed to just pumble someone for no particular reason, he would even settle for Desiderius, or a Spathi Daimon but no, why should Acheron be granted a wish for once.


He instantly settled himself, eventhough he didn't speak those words out loud, he didn't want to jinx things like last time when he let his emotions run wild and Nick.... He didn't want to think about it. What's done was done, there was nothing he could do about it now. But all things aside, is was safe to say Ash was kranky. He walked among the unknowing humans down Bourban Street, his mind was setted on visiting Selena at the new age shop he recently had bought for her so she could be able to continue doing what she did best; expending her psychic abilities and running her new shop. He needed just a little ease from his mood and Selena was one of the few people who could do such a thing with her chitter chattery way of life. He looked at the different faces that passed him by and eventhough she didn't stand out fashionwise he got caught in heavenly blue eyes, hidden underneath a navyblue New-York sportscap. Eventhough he saw her just while passing by and only for a few seconds he instinctively knew she was somewhat different from other women who walked upon the planet earth. And he could tell not just by the tingling feeling he felt in his groin making him grow harder just by her scent of something similar to sandalwood but just not quite the same. He nearly got tempted to use his powers to go back in time just a little bit so he could feel that again, it had been decades if not centuries ago since he last held interest in a woman. He had Simi his Charonte Demon who he saw as his own daughter to keep him company which made the lonely days a lot more pleasant. And now that Ias had Danger, his newly wed-wife, and Xirena his newly bound Charonte Demon (as well as Simi's long last sister) to focus his attention on, he felt now more than ever what is was like again to be alone.

His life was a lot less complicated before his New Orleans Dark-Hunters Kyrian, Talon and Zarek found their soulmates who freed their souls from Artemis who created the Dark-Hunters to kill Daimons formerly known as Apollyte-people prolonging their lifes the wrong way. Apollyte people were cursed by Apollo after his lover got brutally murdered at age 27 by Apollyte people who pretended that she was murdered by animals. When he found out what had happened he cursed them to live life in the dark till their 27th birthday and on that day they would die a painfull death lasting 24 hours till they let out their last breath. The only way to prolong their lives was to kill humans by drinking their blood and taking in their soul. A normal human soul would last them a few days but whenever a human had psychic powers that was a real kick for them, those souls would last them weeks if not months and they kept whichever ability they had to use for themselves and with that they'd be stronger Daimons and thus harder to be fought and defeated by his Dark-Hunters. It was an ongoing thing Acheron got used to, but lately his will to keep doing what Artemis laid unwillingly upon his shoulders so that she could keep him in her control, was nowhere to be found. Especially after Cherise Gautier got murdered and Nick turned into a Dark-Hunter after he killed himself when he found his mother brutally murdered in her home. Pain still tore through him when he thought how many loved-ones he had lost over the past few years. He should've known better than to let people close to him, everytime the fates took them from him.

Concerning others he had clear vision on what a certain outcome could be, but for himself or those close to him it was blank and quiet. Eventhough he was over 11 thousand more close to 12 thousand years old (at his age he didn't frown upon a century or two...) no one even amongst those he held near knew what he was or who he was deep down inside. Simi knew ofcourse but he knew he could absolutely trust her as she was now a part of him. Simi eventhough she was just as old as him appeared at the age of 18 when summoned to human form, he himself appeared as 21. His origins was Greek but he was raised in Atlantis before it was destroyed, now only a handful of people were left who actually knew Atlantis from experience but he didn't feel the need to keep in touch with those. He felt uneasy, something was stirring deep inside him, it made him feel things locked deep inside and Simi felt that he was restless. She got kranky because he woke her out of her sleep. She started moving around which made Acheron itch. When a Charonte Demon was returned to its owner and on his body as a tattoo they normally rested and he wouldn't feel her being a part of him. But when they moved around they left a burning trail. It would fade after a few seconds but in the mood he was in at the moment he felt every thing times ten. In his head he told her to stay putt.
'But the Simi is restless because her Akri is restless, I needs me sleep.'
'I know Simi, I'm sorry.'
Acheron tried to calm his emotions and when he knew no-one was watching he stepped into an allyway and flashed himself to a place other than Katoteros where he felt home, instead of heading down to Selena's shop.

"Jeez Ash, you scared the be-jeezus out of me,"Amanda said startled, as she nearly dropped the babybottle with formula out of her hand "When will you learn to knock?!"
Ash quinced at her words, he's gotton so used to flashing in and out of Kyrians home over the years that he somtimes forgot, waith no, he didn't forget, he distinctly remember willing himself to his own bedroom in Kyrians home.... or did he? He had so many things go through his mind over the past few minutes that he wasn't sure "Sorry Mandy, didn't mean to."
"I didn't mean to fall out like that Ash," Amanda said as she noticed his turmoil in his aura "With Marissa's powers all over the place at the moment I'm not quite sure when to expect wat anymore."
"And Ashleagh?" Ash asked, thinking lovingly about the 6 month old baby boy who was named after him and just as Marissa was his Goddaughter, he was his Godson. Marissa came running in with her arms spread out wide to Ash "Uncle Ash!"
She jumped in his arms and she hugged those small girly arms around his neck and gave him butterfly kisses on his cheek "Hey Munchkin..."
"Is Simi here too?"
"Yes she is..."
"Can she come out and play?"
'Can the Simi can the Simi can the Simi....' he heard Simi ask enthusiastic in his head 'Yes Simi you can, just don't eat anything other than given to you by Amanda or me.'
Simi jumped from his skin and Marissa giggled girly when she saw Sim. She and Simi went to the playroom and Ash said "Simi no QVC..."
Simi stood still instantly "Akri Simi doesn't like when you say no to the Simi, no eat this, no QVC. No sex with Nick..."
"Simi..." stretching each sillable as he spoke.
"Yes akri, Simi no QVC Simi didn't say she accept in silence..."
Amanda held in a laughter while she looked at Ash's tormented face. "Kids..." she said instead.
"Just waith till yours grow up... Did Ashleagh show some powers yet?"
"None that we know off and silently I applaude that."Amanda said.
"Same here," Kyrian walked into the kitchen and gave his wife a kiss. He looked strangely at Acheron "What's up with you?" Kyrian looked a bit worried at his used to be "boss" Kyrian was one of the Dark-Hunters who got their soul back but he had known Acheron for over 1500 years now and was one of his best friends.
"I'll go and feed Ashleagh." Amanda said with an arched brow looking from one to the other.
Ash asked "Can I?" he could use some quiet time alone with his just himself and his thoughts. Before they knew it Ash walked out of the kitchen up the stairs then remembered the bottle, went back downstairs and flashed upstairs only to end up in his own bedroom downstairs. It disturbed him quite a bit but then decided to walk, he passed by the open kitchen door again and left Amanda and Kyrian awestruck.

Acheron went to the nursery, picked up Ashleagh and held him comfortably in his arms while sitting down in the antique rockin'chair, to give him the bottle. The sight of this 6"8 male, dressed in black leather slacks, biker-boots, a dark t-shirt, with his black halflong hair pulled together in a dark band, and the manly features of his face softened with the love he felt for the small boy in his arms, was an odd not often thing to see. Especially not concerning Acheron. Only Amanda and Kyrian had seen him like this, and only on the odd ocassion they caught him unprepaired.

Thousands of years ago he had lost all hope on ever having a family off his own, it was a small sacrifice to make so that humanity could walk around safe(r) on this planet. He couldn't think about what would happen if he'd left his Dark-Hunters to walk around unsupervised and untrained. Chaos amongst the living for sure.

He dozed off for a while trying to relax a bit. But instead of resting he got pulled into the nightmare with the chaos and screams of Atlanteans while their isle got destroyed and drown into the Aegean Sea. Then he got pulled into another memory and found himself in pain by the hurt his lover Artemis' betrail set upon him. In his dreamstate his human-self had also tears in his eyes. He sought some peace and instead got more chaos, of remembering those long forgotten memories, bad memories that had scarred him for life and uncertainties. The pain he felt of those Dark-Hunters who turned on him, the pain of Strykerious who constantly was planning on making his life a living hell by killing (or trying anyway) those who Ash held close to his heart. He saw how Cherise got killed and felt the agonizing pain that went through Nick when he had found her. He heard his own words echo in his head, those he had spoken to Nick when he had found out Nick had slept with Simi, his emotions speaking over his rational mind 'you should kill yourself to safe me from doing so later'. In the end that was exactly what Nick had done.

Isbn: 978-0-446-56474-8
Releasedate: August 5, 2009 (re-release)
Genre: Biography - Reallife / HC format
For sale at : The Book Depository Store

Synopsis
So much has how been said and written about the life and career of Michael Jackson that it has become almost impossible to disentangle the man from the myth. This book is the fruit of over 30 years of research and hundreds of exclusive interviews with a remarkable level of access to the very closest circles of the Jackson family - including Michael himself. Cutting through tabloid rumours, J. Randy Taraborrelli traces the real story behind Michael Jackson, from his drilling as a child star through the blooming of his talent to his ever-changing personal appearance and bizarre publicity stunts.

This major biography includes the behind-the-scenes story to many of the landmarks in Jackson's life: his legal and commercial battles, his marriages to Lisa Marie Presley and Debbie Rowe, his passions and addictions, his children. Objective and revealing, it carries the hallmarks of all of Taraborrelli's best-sellers: impeccable research, brilliant storytelling and definitive documentation.

REVIEW
This book tells about an incredibly life, the journey and path in life that the King of Pop and humanitarian Michael Jackson took in the nearly 51 years he lived. The road to stardom and the consequences of being as famous as him, the extortion and the seclusion, the lonelyness and eccentricities.

Michaels lifestory is so incredibly emotional, impressing, amazing, shocking and nearly unbelievable in so many ways! This book tells the complete story from his early living years in Gary, Indiana to his passing in Bell Air, California. This will probably be one of the last updated versions on this novel and is supposedly written by someone who met up with Michael many times throughout all his life and claims to have an inside scoop on things.

The beginning of the story tells about the abuse, physical as well as emotional, Michael and his siblings endured from his father. The total opposite lifestyles of his father and his religious mother, which gave a distorted example of how to live a good life and were total opposites in every sense of the word. It shows how his parents, the record companies and representations, as well as being in the spotlight isolated him from normal life ever since he was a young boy. He has been alone and lonely for most of his life, misunderstood and never appreciated for his opinion when he needed it the most. It shows that he always was a shy introverted boy, but instead of helping him find a way to being more extravert and open they shielded him from the outside world making it impossible for him to take a stand in a social life.

To tell this part of Michael’s life takes up to about 400 pages in this book, is extensive and really takes you on the road towards stardom and into Michaels thoughts and life. This was the part that touched so many of my emotions and really got me connected to Michaels life from the inside point of view. However I found it a bit annoying that throughout the pages this author placed remarks towards the future from his own point of view. This irritated me on a certain level because when I read a biography I want to read about someone’s life story not about the opinion of the author, I can make up my own mind thank you very much! It irritated me and it was then that I started to see typo’s and grammar mistakes in sentences, wrongful use of words and sentences that were incomplete. For a book published this many times I expected it to be near to flawless, especially in the first half. Boy was I in for a surprise later in the story as that worsened!

The first part makes clear to me what I had known all along. Michael held out his heart; pouring with love for everyone to see; take from or enjoy; without any boundaries, borders or walls protecting it on his part, only hoping some of the love he gave would be given in return unconditionally. Everyone sensitive enough to it would see it in everything he did. From his love towards his mother, to the love for his fans, for the underprivileged people of this world, to the animals he had living at home.

No matter how his heart was bruised, kicked at, torn up, or smashed to pieces. No matter how much time it took him to come back, he stayed in search for that one small bit of light to grasp and pull himself back towards it.

When he was brought down in that deep dark cold space all I could feel was the need, the want, the desire to keep his heart safe from harm and warm it with my own love and heal the pain he has lived with so many years and make it better for him. Reading this book only strengthened that feeling and makes me more sad that he never had someone to blanket him as he needed to be.

One particular scene stayed with me and still pops into my mind every now and then, that was where young Michael (if I remember correctly about 14 years at that time) warned a fan who was invited up to the apartment his brothers rented for some “action” to not go, even wrote her a note with his autograph asking her not to go as he told her: They wouldn’t treat you right. She decided to ignore it and went anyway. She went and Michael was brought home, got out of the car, recognised her and said: I can’t believe you went. She was all up in tears and regretted that she had done so. She got into a cab and left… To me it showed everything Michael was, even back then they didn’t listen to what he had to say. He was not trusted in what he said.

No matter how controversy and eccentric a picture of Michael, J. Randy Taraborrelli painted I dreaded reading the last pages of this book. Of course it really was real, Michael had died June 25, 2009, but to read it as a final thought in this book was just surreal to me. It was the ending of a person’s life who never was able to live life.

I said it before in this review that in my opinion as an author of a biography you should remain objectivity, remain to facts and keep an open mind. In the writings of the past 15 years J. Randy Taraborrelli was not able to do that. It felt what he wrote down was not inside information but more stories gotten from outside sources. The spelling, grammar and wrongful use of names is stunning, and rather implies the quickness it’s written and released again and again without taking the time to read and edit it and re-read it with every new publication.

I’ll name a few of these to stipulate that I’m not just saying or making it up:

• Neverland has been said to have both 27,000 & 2,700 acres of ground.
• The videographer interviewing the Arvizo family was name as both Christian Robinson and Christian Anderson.
• The DCFS was also named DSCS.
• There are countless grammar mistakes in the built up of sentences that make you have to re-read sentences to understand what is being said.
• And there are typo’s that make your brow raise as well.

What makes this book quite difficult to read as well that it’s written up in chapters, it reads very confusing at certain points, especially in the later years because in one chapter you find yourself reading information from i.e. 1994-1997 when the next chapter will take you back to i.e. 1992-1993.

There was a remark in the book that made me want to lash out to J. Randy Taraborrelli. Although it has to be somewhat applauded that in the ‘Chandler-case’ he remained saying wasn’t sure what had transpired-personally. However, in my opinion looking at the facts he brought forth in this book, it was clear that Michael was innocent. I knew that then and after reading this book I’m even more sure of it now. But I’m coming back to the fact that his opinion does not fit in a book portrayed as a biography! In the ‘Arvico-case’, in his own words he knew it was a set up.

What made me want to lash out however was that after the acquittal of Michael June 13, 2005, a woman came up to J. Randy Taraborelli saying to him “After all of THIS, what if he really IS innocent?”

He wrote in response to that and I quote: “As I looked at the startled expression on her face, I felt a chill shoot down my spine and I thought to myself… ‘Oh, my God! What is he really IS?’

It made me want to scream and say “You dimwit, do you finally get it now??!!! It, for Christ sake took you long enough!’

For someone who they claim knows or is an ‘expert’ on Michaels life it seems to me that he might only know what Michael wanted him to know, but never understood the essence of Michaels being. I think Michael never forgot the fact that J. Randy Taraborrelli is indeed a journalist and in his world they could not be trusted. Throughout his whole life people backstabbed him and he remained cautious towards certain people, unfortunately not so cautious towards the one that hurt him the most.

The question remains though, would I recommend this book for reading, is it what I expected from reading a biography and did it really give me the satisfaction of getting the inside information on this person’s life?

I have to admit that it’s difficult to extract myself from the way it is written and the person who it is written about. Michael, throughout the years has affected and touched more in my life that I realized.

The first 400 or so pages give a clear, insightful view and a lot of information on Michaels life so in order to establish if this is biography worthy I have to say yes, surpassing grammar mistakes and writing errors. It touches every fibre of my being, emotion, stirs me on every level and leaving me amazed in all that he had experienced in his life (good and obviously bad!). Throughout the years after that, it becomes more clear to me that this story isn’t written from Michaels perspective anymore but from the authors viewpoint. Throughout it all I missed real interaction with Michael (though the second half a lot more that the first half). So it left me feeling bereft and misguided by the title.

The last 4 years the author has only been in touch with Michael on the phone twice and only for a few minutes and the years before it seems that contact has been minimum too! So to name this book:


is not accurate! The last deals only with the rumours everybody knows, the news everybody knows but I have not come across a snippet of information about the allegedly private lifestyle Michael had according to this author that wasn’t already know to me through other means. It came across as though the author was trying to say “I know Michael and I want the whole world to know as well.”

All in all the positive feelings I have about this book is that it kept me focussed on Michael, his life and him as a person. It made me understand even more about his past and giving a total different view on Michael and the Record Companies and Paparazzi and their influence on Michaels subtraction to open up and live a very secluded life.

What is a nice addition to reading Michaels story is that certain televised performances can be looked back on sites like ie. youtube. It shows even more how exquisite Michael as a performer was. Despite all the things going on in his personal life, he was able to tune that out completely and still give his best performance ever. A good example of that it: Billie Jean Motown 25-the first time he performed the ‘Moonwalk’ eventhough it originally is called the backslide but media picked it up as the moonwalk. Behind the scenes there is so much turmoil and drama going on, but he got up on stage, did his thing and not one moment can you see on his face the hurt he feels inside.

As a biography, how it’s written – structure as well as writing-language left quite a bit to be desired and I think the book is as successful as it is because of the subject and timing of every (re) release. For me as a reader it left me with the desire to read more inside information and still left me with unanswered questions that should have been answered at least partially by someone who claims to have been on the inside!

And most of all what I really missed was the last years of Michaels life. Information about his return, his rehearsals and of course the weeks from his passing away to the memorial service in Staples, the world newly awoken to his music and life. This biography is NOT the whole story, it is NOT a completed biography and the fact that almost 60 (!!!) pages are used for acknowledgements are a rip off in my opinion. I’m left very dissatisfied about the last almost 368 pages.

The last 4 pages are a reflection of J. Randy Taraborrelli walking through an empty Neverland that rose my hair and gave me goose bumps, realizing that this author just wanted some publicity to pour drama to his last reflection. I was not fooled by it, my eyes opened up and left me thinking ‘You bollocks! If you only see this now that he has passed, you never really knew Michael at all!’ But then again it really shows how the press used Michael to their own raise to fame – this journalist in the end seems no exception to me.

Would I recommend this read? It depends on the reason why you want to read this book. If you’re a lifelong fan following him from as early as the 70’s, looking for new information, I think most of the written pages hold information you already know. However the early years give some background information on Michaels life that might be of interest to you. If you became interested in Michael after his passing, wanting to know more on his life, it is a good way to start your search, but if you are longing to read more information about Michael (in-depth and private) on his let’s say last 20 years I’d say don’t bother buying it, all the information can be looked back on the internet and it does not give you anything real constructive.

Would I read other ‘biographies’ written by this author? As simple as NO, and simply because in the end he was not objective concerning Michael which lead me to realize that a biography might best not be written by one person or at least not by this author alone. It should not be opinionated and should consist of information given by the topic and not for 90% people from outside. I missed so much viewpoints from Michael, how he looked on life, how he stood in it all and where he came from.

All in all in the end I would like to close my review that my critique and review on this book is based on how it’s written, structured, set up, it is as a viewpoint on the writing skills of this author and NOT on the person it is written about!

3 Stars